I just found out my Minolta XD7 is dying, and i think i will have to part with this vintage series soon.

 I am going to try to save up and get a Leica M6 soon.

for now my films will be mostly LOMO + my Nikon 35Ti

FINALLY!. i am not a recruit any more!.

Been to 2 BMT and back, best thing both in Rocky Hill, far from the main camp on tekong. But what ever it is, i can grow my hair again!... now to wait for ORD!

Even when i am stuck in camp for the weekdays. My room is still as messy as ever.

This week will be my final [and it better be the last] week in tekong. YES it is FINALLY nearly over. not National Service but at least after this I will not be stuck on a island far from civilization where the only connection out is my handphone(which is dying). Back to usual blogging and tweet spams after Good Friday.

Now how should i spend my good friday weekend, anyone wants any Photoshoots?

LOMO LC-A+, Ilford Delta 400  

Going back to Tekong Is really demoralizing.

Going back to Tekong on a Friday night is even more demoralizing...

I am missing the outside world once again, but then what is it so difference between me being stuck in the DVFX lab and in an army camp? I was missing my life too back then when I had to camp day after days and burn my weekend on my Mac just to do work.

The army is just boring and due to the fact I am so disconnected from the net, I guess I that y I felt I really missing my life...

I am not really a outgoing person, and ain't really social able ( offline or online )... So ya... There goes my life. If is not for school and work, I doubt I will have friends outside that circle. ( okay cosplay is another thing..)

So well I have to end this post as I am reaching the ferry terminal to go back to Tekong to burn my long weekend off. But really 1 more mth left before I go back to unit. I guess I just have to tahan.

not shopping shopping... i been buying clothes every few weeks.[ need to stop that habit, running out of space for my clothes]

but ya ever since i got in to the army, i have not been doing anything vfx-ish, but hey on this slow day 1 of CNY i did some shit.

not my best but i think it shows i need to practice once again, my skill is getting worse.

it is the time of year, after that time of year. it is Chinese new year. the time where i need to clean my room, buy new clothes and visit relatives that i kinda only see once a year. and whoa, 1 year pass so fast. 1 year ago i was 20....now i am 21 turning 22. and looking back, i still have not done any thing outstanding... i am still a nobody... oh damn life..

I always have this issue when i am thrown into a new environment. Being out of my comfort zone is kinda tiring for me as i tend to use way too much energy pretending that i am okay while i am not.
i has been in this state for multiple times during this short coming to 22 years.

During Primary one: loner coz I dun know how to mix around by tried really hard.
During Sec 1: went back to hang out with primary school frens instead of mixing around with my classmate.
Poly year 1: could not even communicate with the aerospace classmates of mine, endded up hanging out with more "weirder" people from JTC and photography club.
NS: although everyone was the same age in BMT, i just can't seem to blend in, tried to but end up being left out.

Yes there is something wrong with my altitude and i need to change it, but i can't really see what is the issue.
other than i can't mix around as well as I like to be.
i dun follow the horde/ crowd.
I like to be a bit different.     
I want to be unique.

And really the system here made/brainwash us to avoid ppl who thinks differently?
Yes i maybe anti-govt, but i dun anti-PAP. i anti-the system that PAP made.
Profit driven companies will die in the long run, ya try to run a multi-million dollar machine with cheapo spare parts.
Really what is the point of earning so much then lose it all the next year?

Okay this post is getting no sense or no where.

All i want to say. I want to get out of this country, settle down somewhere else, get attached and be happy.

which is all impossible with my current state of affairs. no way i can afford uni, or know anyone in another country to help me move there, or any girl to accept me who i am or to be contented with who and what i have.

YAY i just broke one of my new year goals.: #13: be positive.  

Maybe i always had this problem of getting used to new environment, that i always want to escape back in to my comfort zone, in a place that i will not mess up.

 

it is not a new year resolution list. it is more like I HAVE to complete this list of things in 2012.

1. GET MY DRIVING LICENSE [after tekong that is]: took my BTT when i was 18, and my FTT lapses last year... so ya...

2. Start making a list of photoshoot concepts with reference pics, location references

3. upgrade my NAS... i need 2 more 2TB

4. clear my backlog.

5. redo my portfolio

6. make a new demo reel.

7. clear my room. have too many shit.

8. saving money for new FX lens.

9. save more cash to upgrade to a FX cam in 2013

10. save some more cash in hopes to go to japan after NS.

11. need to stop being down.

12. get happy.

13. be positive.

14. Get attached...

chances that 11 to 14 won't happen this year i guess. i tried that in last year. it worked for awhile.but guess what i am back to square one like every year. i need to move on and find someone/ something else. whatever it is 2012 you better be better. i can't take another 2011 or 2010 or 2007...

first of all it is 2012 so it is a new year... i hope it will be a happy and better than the last year, but well we all know it is just getting worse. *oh spoilt your new year, what do you expect from me being moodless?* anyway my annual look back to the year before...

 

2011: vedict: better than 2010, but more fucked up and alot of shit.

 

JAN:

- had my 21st birthday [and like the 2nd birthday party that i ever had] invited way too many people to my grandma's place and all had to crowd in the living room. lol

 

- oh was rushing Lakme... that fucked up anyway.

- assited for one of lenne's shoot.

the dec 2010 one -> http://aetienne.net/photoshoot-dress-in-distress

the jan 2011 ->  aetienne.net/photoshoot-in-transition

- oh ya sold my 35mm f/1.8

FEB: FYP dateline..

 

- we did not finish that was for sure.

- last day of school and last time i went to the dvfx lab for work

- gotten a 2nd hand sigma 17-50 f/2.8

- realised i have alot of camera shit

March:

- sold macs in NP again

- cancelled my 2 month long japan trip plans thanks to the earthquake and my army letter came.

- brought a portable amp and earphones.

- Disappeared to KL to watch THE WHITEST BOY ALIVE gig.

- gotten a 50mm f/1.4

 

April:

- redid the site.

- the last SOY.

- wanted to do an election short film.

- came up with a crazy 12 day tokyo trip thanks to SQ and their $398 nett flights.

- sneaked in to the newly abandon hotel next to my grandma's place AT NIGHT TO SHOOT.

MAY:

- watched the HURTS gig

- DEADMAU5!!!!

- gotten attached

- graduated from NP.

- flew off to tokyo alone for 12 days [right after my graduation LOL]

- WENT TO FUCKING MOGRA!!!!!

- Gotten my LC-A+ russian lens!!!

June:

- came back to sg on the 6th

- 48hours of chilling with frens

- 8th: tekong: start of my NS.

- confinement period just nice end for cosfest!!!!

- Heat cramps like FUCK in tekong.

- first sign of my shoulder tear.

JULY:

- pain got worse.

- totally in emo mode.

- went to A&E...

- ultra sound scan

- right arm suddenly stop moving for 20 hours...

- had more xray in 2 weeks than in my entire life.

 

AUG:

- out of course.

- still emo.

- transfered to sembawang camp

- finally had my first photo shoot after graduation. mori girl shoot with engrica

SEP:

- still emo-ing

- kena arrowed to make videos for my unit

- scanning flims the skcubrats method

- SCANDAL CONCERT!!!

- hospitalized for 36 hours for gastroentrritis and suspected Appendicitis

- first time gotten a CT scan

OCT:

- medical review

 

NOV:

- AFA!

- played with a rangefinder.

- helpped in another lenne's shoot.

- gotten an MRI scan

 

DEC:

- was let go or dump or whatever...

- was trolling a fren's 21st birthday

- went to Comicfiesta in KL

- #foreveralone xmas

- #foreveralone new year eve.

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

if you have read to this point you are really bored eh.

2011 it seems that you are worse than 2010.

Yes i got to go to tokyo alone, spent 12 days there roaming the streets.

yes I finish poly.

yes i am an adult

yes i got attached after 4 years

but ya shit happens.

lakme was not completed

NS happened.

shoulder got torn.

i never been so familar with hospitials.

finally stayed in a hospital bed.

dobuts of me continucing in photography and visual effects thanks to the pain

she let me go. what am i binding by a contract?

that sigma 17-50 is noise maker.

i am now more alone than before...

 

maybe i did some stupid choices too but i dunnoe what am i doing wrong... really what am i doing wrong?

 

so ya 2012 you better not be a bitch to me. i still want a life and a girlfriend.

 

happy new year folks i got tired of writing so i end it here.